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Lithium (Not the Nirvana version)

So, I've been on lithium for a week now. I haven't noticed any changes in my mood, but that could be because the dose isn't at the recommended therapeutic level yet. Side effects I've noticed are that I'm struggling to wake up in the morning, and I'm having night sweats. (nice)

Tonight I have to stay up until 10pm (late for me!) and take my dose then, because tomorrow morning I have another blood test. The test has to be exactly 12 hours since the dose, so they can measure the amount of lithium in my blood. I also have to carry a lithium alert card round with me.

I don't know,  it just makes me uneasy. What exactly are all these drugs doing to my body?
Making it better, you may say. But I'm not so sure. Every morning I just feel sad and frustrated that I need to take six pills a day just to function normally.

But is this my self stigma rearing its head again? Probably. Perhaps if I had a physical illness I'd just take the pills no question, because it feels like we have no control over what our bodies do. But we have control of our minds, right? Or do we? In one way, yes we do. In another way, absolutely not. So many things affect our minds, we are nowhere near to understanding it all really. But maybe I don't need to understand it. Maybe I just need to accept it.



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