A Blog About Psychosis

So, as I said, I've been in hospital for a few weeks. I still can't seem to write about it. I've pushed it to the back of my mind somewhere. Yesterday I had a follow up meeting with a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists deal in pills. Pills are the bane of my life. I hate them. Before I got ill I wouldn't even take a paracetamol for a headache, and now I'm on four in the morning and (was on) five at night. I say was, because I've stopped my lithium. Against medical advice. Doctors don't like it if you do this. But I felt it was the right thing to do. I was on 1000mg, five tablets, and it wasn't particularly doing anything. All it helped with were my suicidal thoughts. I've lived with those for most of my life, so is it really worth it? I felt not. I've suffered with depression since I was 12, and am well used to it by now. I'm on the maximum anti depressant and it does its job, it holds my head above water, i.e. I don't want to die most of

I want to write a post about being sectioned. the formalities, how it feels, what it means. Somehow the words won't come. All I can seem to say is that I was sectioned under the Mental Health Act a couple of weeks ago, and have just got out of hospital. Thankfully it was a short stay. I don't feel much of anything at the moment. Maybe I should just delete this and try again when things are better. But I think that I started this blog to chart my psychosis journey and this is it. Sometimes this is what it leaves you with.